Saturday, March 17, 2012

Pink Slime Mandatory in US Schools

by Frank Lake, Weekly World News:

WASHINGTON - The U.S. government is reportedly mandating that all American school kids eat pink slime.

The company that sells ground beef treated with ammonia proclaims their meat mixture is good for America’s schoolchildren, even though parents across the country are seriously questioning the safety of what has been dubbed “pink slime.”

Beef Products Inc. (BPI) made the declaration about its “lean finely textured beef” or LFTB over the weekend to The Daily, which broke the news that the federal government plans to buy ground beef that contains 7 million pounds of the product in the coming year. After the report, “pink slime” became the most searched topic on the internet.

The U.S. Depart of Health and the USDA stepped in and they reportedly investigated the pink slime. “We found that the pink slime is actually some of the best food we’ve every analyzed. We are recommending that all students eat pink slime every day of the school year,” said a source in the government.

The USDA reportedly feels that the pink slime will help kids grow stronger, taller and make them smarter and more focused.

Pink slime accomplishes three important goals on behalf of millions of kids,” said a spokesperson for the pink slime industry. “It improves the nutritional profile, increases the safety of the products and meets the budget parameters that allow the school lunch program to feed kids nationwide every day.”

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